i don’t know how and where should i start with this post. neither do i know why am i writing this, it’s actually pretty pointless but ah whatever.
when i was 13, i imagined my future boyfriend to be someone who is umm… tall, dark, handsome and badass. it’ll be better if he smokes cause that’s cool what do you know who cares about second hand smoke and lung cancer wtf. and while i so desperately want to realize that dream, i also shop in jusco and thought i have really good taste in clothes WTF, just to impress my future boyfriend who is tall, dark, handsome and badass.
when i was 16, i liked someone who wasn’t at all tall, nor is he dark -__- but definitely badass. he’s cool when he left the top few buttons on his uniform unbuttoned. he’s cute when he sleeps on his table during an examiniation. he’s charming when his uniform is not tucked in. those… were the days. i think i’ve already moved on from jusco then but i still have this very ridiculous set of views on “looking cool with school bags”. first of all, if you’re carrying a backpack, the straps should be adjusted long enough to touch your butt and whenever u walk, your bag will wave along with your butt. similarly if you’re using a sling bag, it’s strap also need to be adjusted to a length where its either longer or at least the same length as your hips. all this, just to impress mr not so tall, not so dark, but badass. moving on…
when i was 18, i thought i’ve finally settled with the right guy. and he, will be the man who awaits me on the other end, as i walk down the aisle. as long as we love each other, we can definitely work everything out. rich or poor, it doesn’t matter because love can conquer all. and then,
when i was 21, i simply learnt that… it isn’t so.
most importantly, throughout all these phrases of life, i have always firmly believed that – a woman eventually has to get married to find happiness.
and now, i am turning 23 in a month’s time. i am in a stable relationship with a guy who is like a best friend to me. who knows me very well. who lets me be myself – not so angelic, not so demure, not so nice. but to be honest, i really don’t know if i look forward to marriage. i don’t think i should elaborate further about my relationship here but one thing that i’m sure is, i dont like binding responsibilities. be it marriage or simply being in relationship, it’s a responsibility (with marriage being a heavier one that is). it’s a commitment. there are certain things that you just have to do as a special someone.
but what if you wake up in the morning, feeling like p diddy? *cough* i mean, wake up in the morning feeling like a free soul? i don’t know if that’s the right word but it’s like, the feeling when you know that you yourself is the only person you’re responsible towards. there’s no need to tell another person whats on your cards today, there’s no need to detail your day out at the end of the day, there’s no need to make a phone call even if you basically did nothing/ have nothing on mind to say, there’s no need to make a phone call when you’re just simply too lazy to even dial, what more talk?
i guess it’s a phase everyone goes through. when things get more comfortable than exciting. when you became lazy in maintaining a relationship because it’s already there.. so all that being said, i am super thankful for my ever patient boyfriend, whom i can pour everything onto. i don’t know what’s ahead of us, i don’t know how will my views continue to change as i grow but hey, i know i’ll be seeing him soon! 
ps: totally addicted to pineapple cookies. happy chinese new year!
